I'm repeating the past for the fourth time. This is something I never wanted to do. Let alone think about. There are two people who understand. I feel like I owe them the world. They will never understand. No one will. But that's the point isn't it? If people understood this wouldn't be happening the first place. My life keeps going while my physical self is a on pause. It's going to take me a long time to catch up. To be where I want to be again. I guess if I really want it. I'll work for it. And if I don't. Well. You know.

Mistakes, mistakes. Mistakes. Mistakes. That is what is holding me back. Besides the fact that I don't want to try in fear of what other people think. There's a difference between mistakes and other peoples opinions. I mean, how far apart are they really? Why did I confuse one for another? I don't even know. And honestly I don't care anymore.

I wish I could take his advice. "I'll take yours if you take mine." I should take it anyway. That advice will change my life. Make me happy. I need a push though. Don't worry. We're half way there.

(hint: You fill it in.)

Over reacting really isn't the smartest move on my part. For that I truly am sorry. I'd like to be able to say it doesn't happen often. Only is really does, so anything that would be nothing more than a straight-up lie. "You make me so nervous" really means "can I kiss your face off pretty please?" In what language? I'm not sure I even know. Maybe Fuckingscaredoutofhermindgirlfriend. Ever heard of it? Join the club. I have so many things to work on. Saying what's on my mind is at the very top of my long, long list. Every time I don't know what to say. I really do. Maybe what I'm thinking isn't good enough or smart enough or make sense. But they are still my thoughts. Mine. Mine. Mine. Where do you go wrong with that anyway? I honestly don't know anymore... Every time you smile I just want to hold you in my arms and explain to you what you mean to me. Like that would even by possible with words. There are so many things I want to do with you. So many things I wish I had the guts to say. One day I guess we'll be there. One day.


This is so all over the place and this isn't the best mood to be writing in.

Love me or leave me or rip me apart.

Current Music: The Town That You Live In - Sherwood